Cock block

Dear Kirusoff,

Unrelated to Hockey (I know it's not capitalized but it should be), I was thinking about why Swedes and Finns harbor so much animosity towards the Norwegians and then it hit me:  Norway cock blocks Sweden and Finland's access to the "Norwegian" Sea.  So not cool.

Hit em in the head.

Dear Kiprusoff,

Did you see how Iginla dealt with that nasty shark.  Yep, hit them in the head and aim for the eyes.  I didn't realize the teddy could turn into a grizzly so fast.  I'm going to have to rent "Grizzly man" to see if Iginla was the one who ate that dude and his girlfriend.

Sharks

Dear Kiprusoff-

I've never been a fan of sharks or of San Jose, so the combination of the two makes me taste tummy bile in my mouth.  Very unpleasant, to say the least.  They say when attacked by a shark that you should hit them in the head and gouge their eyes.  I think this would work well on San Jose Hockey players too.  Again, I am not advocating violence, just suggesting basic survival skills.

Your mama...is a very nice person

Dear Kiprusoff,


In mixed company it can be sometimes awkward when two or more people begin speaking in a language that others don't understand.  Imagine how off-putting it would be when a member of the opposing team rushes the net to rudely trounce you and you whisper in his ear, in Finnish, "how lovely his eyes are and how much you look forward to taking his mother out for a nice steak dinner."