Diptera angst

Dear Kiprusoff,

I don't usually condone animal abuse but if the red wings were flies I would systematically pull each and every one of their wings off.  Then I would spray them with fly spray just for good measure.

Shiny Happy People Smiling...

Dear Kiprusoff,

Sometimes when I am having a bad day I will see someone smiling and it makes me feel better.  I think when you are having a bad game you should make Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla smile for you.

Love is a battlefield

Dear Kiprusoff,

When Sean Avery called Dion Phaneuf's girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert, "sloppy seconds," I imagine you taking the high road and quoting, in Finnish, André the Giant's famous words "it's not very sportsman-like."

Ponies and Rainbows

Dear Kiprusoff,

I recently decided to name my horse Kipper, in your honor. It's not that he's fast on his feet or that he has super fast equine reflexes, it's that he likes a nice snuggle after a workout in the arena too, just like you.

Eskimo kisses

Dear Kiprusoff,

I once asked my Dad if he had a favorite child and he said that he loved all of us equally. I'm pretty sure he likes me best, though. Although I know it's hurtful and wrong to play favorites, if the members on the Calgary Flames were my kids I would totally single you out as my favorite. I guess that would make me a bad parent.