Stone cold

Dear Kiprusoff,

I often get told by complete strangers that I should smile more.  Personally, I get more satisfaction out of giving people a stone cold gaze.   

Spoiled ponies

Dear Kiprusoff,

My horse likes it when I braid his mane and feed him cookies.  If you were my pony I would braid your hair and feed you cookies too.  I wouldn't worry too much about me ever trying to do this to you in real life though.  That would be awkward for both of us.

The force is strong in this one

Dear Kiprusoff,

Sometimes when you take your helmet off I think you look just like Mark Hamill
from Star Wars.  A young Hamill of Luke Skywalker fame, not the voice actor he later became.

Diptera angst

Dear Kiprusoff,

I don't usually condone animal abuse but if the red wings were flies I would systematically pull each and every one of their wings off.  Then I would spray them with fly spray just for good measure.

Shiny Happy People Smiling...

Dear Kiprusoff,

Sometimes when I am having a bad day I will see someone smiling and it makes me feel better.  I think when you are having a bad game you should make Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla smile for you.

Love is a battlefield

Dear Kiprusoff,

When Sean Avery called Dion Phaneuf's girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert, "sloppy seconds," I imagine you taking the high road and quoting, in Finnish, André the Giant's famous words "it's not very sportsman-like."

Ponies and Rainbows

Dear Kiprusoff,

I recently decided to name my horse Kipper, in your honor. It's not that he's fast on his feet or that he has super fast equine reflexes, it's that he likes a nice snuggle after a workout in the arena too, just like you.

Eskimo kisses

Dear Kiprusoff,

I once asked my Dad if he had a favorite child and he said that he loved all of us equally. I'm pretty sure he likes me best, though. Although I know it's hurtful and wrong to play favorites, if the members on the Calgary Flames were my kids I would totally single you out as my favorite. I guess that would make me a bad parent.